Once again, editor Haley Bruyn has failed to watch any of the 10 this year’s Academy Award best picture nominees. That won’t stop her from giving the world her opinion, just like your drunk aunt giving unsolicited dating advice at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Best Picture

Arrival —arrivalposter

I love Amy Adams and I had every intention of watching this film. Aliens? Linguistics? Complicated discussions with words that are more than likely fake? I’m in. Sadly, I missed it while it was in theaters, and I’m not about to pay $4.99 for on-demand, so I’ll wait three years until the SyFy channel airs it five days in a row, just because they can.

hacksaw0001Hacksaw Ridge —

Andrew Garfield as a war medic? I’m interested. The title is a little scary, what with the thoughts of battlefield amputations and what-not. I might still give it a shot, even if I have to watch the bloodier scenes through my fingers. (Yes I am an adult, but gross is still gross).

fencesFences —

Is it wrong that I equate Denzel Washington with a quality film? I’d be totally fine watching this, I think, if it was just on or someone else chose it, but I’m not a huge fan of sports movies. Wait, it’s not about sports? Isn’t he a retired baseball player or something. So maybe there’s more to it than just the sports stuff, and I’ll probably like it when I inevitably watch it with my dad and I know I will be in tears.

hell-or-high-water-filming-locations-posterHell or High Water —

I freaking love Jeff Bridges. He feels like my uncle or something — like I know him somehow. Make Uncle Jeff a Texas Ranger and I’m going to be into it. Usually I steer clear of Westerns, but HBO’s ‘Westworld’ has recently changed my mind. I like the ‘criminal for a cause’ thing they have going, and I’m curious who I’ll root for, Uncle Jeff or the Brother Bandits.

hiddenfiguresHidden Figures —

I am all about this movie. I will actually spend my own money to see it in the very near future. History, girl power, science and the civil rights movement mean this movie is 100 percent guaranteed to make me cry. And can we take a moment to appreciate the ’60s costuming? These ladies are rocking that polyester. I want plaid outfits to come back, now.

lalalandLa La Land —

I don’t know if I can handle this movie. It seems too cute and also, somehow, too sad. I don’t know that it actually is sad, but I have this new problem where if something is amazingly popular and highly praised, I assume someone important dies (a la “Game of Thrones”) or the love doesn’t last. Call me a cynic, I know, but I don’t know if the singing and dancing can make up for the impending heartache I somehow know will accompany this movie.

lion-movie-poster-dev-patelLion —

If I had any free time at all, I would have seen this in theaters with my mom and a giant bucket of popcorn between us. We would have cried and stress eaten the entire tub while he searched for his biological family, even though his adoptive family is loving and kind and devoted and — editor’s note: the author of this review had to take a moment to compose herself. She resumed once her eyes were no longer watering. Anyway, this movie looks heart wrenching in the best way — the way that makes you want to hug your parents and everyone who raised you, and thank them for just existing.

manchester-by-the-sea-filming-locations-poster-e1486498630240Manchester by the Sea —

Who  knew Ben Affleck had a brother? Apparently he can act, too. I don’t like movies that start with a death, which basically counts out every Pixar movie ever, even though I love all Pixar movies except for “Cars,” but I digress. This movie is emotional. You can tell that ust looking at the poster. Everyone looks sad, even the seagull. I don’t know what type of emotional rollercoaster this movie is, though, and therein lies my hesitation. I usually like to know what I’m getting into.

moonlight-posterMoonlight —

I didn’t hear much about this film, if I’m being perfectly honest, but it looks pretty good. It’s a coming-of-age story about a black gay man in Miami who has troubled relationships with his family and friends. I saw André Holland in the trailer, and I got even more excited. I love him — he’s an amazing actor. I also like the fact that the movie follows the main character from childhood to adulthood. I feel like, when I do watch this (and I totally will, eventually) I’m going to get really attached to the characters.

Haley’s Hope

I want “Hidden Figures” to win. I mean, what’s not to love?

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea

Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge

Ryan Gosling,  La La Land

Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic

Denzel Washington, Fences

Haley’s Hope

Ryan Gosling should get this, I think, because of all the dancing I heard he does.

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Isabelle Huppert, Elle

Ruth Negga, Loving

Natalie Portman, Jackie

Emma Stone, La La Land

Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

Haley’s Hope

Meryl Streep is a goddess, and I actually saw this film. But, I don’t know, maybe she’s “overrated.”

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